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HokieGator

Joined: 10/07/1999 Posts: 15025
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Oh boy, here's a doozy. How would you respond to this?


Short backstory for those that don't know.
We do foster care (and have adopted one with significant special needs). Anyway, we took on a girl, 12, around September. Long story short, she had major behavior issues that got increasingly worse. (It was sad because she was torn between being a child... Playing with dolls with my daughter... And being an "adult".... Trying to have sex with boys at school). She was not quite as bad here at home as she was at school, but would say, when asked, that she hated it here and hated us and our other kids. Again, deep down we knew she was hurt and tormented so we didn't take it personal. Her behavior at school got really bad and she started talking to our 11 year old about sexual things she wanted to do to boys and other stuff. We finally got to the point that we, for the sake of our family and her own well being, had to let her go. She was taken into a rehab facility in Lynchburg in February. (Let me just say, Thank God we decided and did this before Covid!)
She talked repeatedly about going back home as well as being excited about being like her sister... Who was taken from her parents, sent to a home, but "can do whatever she wants now".
Well, I think the rehab place was not what she was hoping for, but has been good for her. We got a letter from her in June. It was nice and kind, but also asking if we could please buy her some books.... Which we did. We have gotten letters from her every 2 weeks or so. Her first letter was how she couldn't wait to go home. But we got a letter today that was different. It was a letter begging us to take her back. Promising that she would behave and we wouldn't have to worry about her behavior at school either. And on the back she drew in big letters, "PLEASE ADOPT ME!!!" Along with several pictures she colored and wrote "I love you!" And "Please adopt me!"

Sooooooo, yeah, there's that.

I mean, we have no idea how to respond. It breaks our hearts. Clearly she's found out her parents either haven't done what was required to get her back, or they don't want her. And I don't see any way that we could or would take her back into care... And definitely not adopt her. But how in the heck do you respond to that?

Also, colonoscopy went well today. Everything looks good. Thanks for your kind thoughts.

Posted: 07/29/2020 at 9:49PM


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Current Thread:
 
  Oh boy, here's a doozy. How would you respond to this? -- HokieGator 07/29/2020 9:49PM
  There is an article in *The Atlantic* about Romanian children who... -- Mama Goose 07/30/2020 4:51PM
  God bless you and your family for what you're doing! -- East NC Hokie 07/30/2020 1:21PM
  Honestly, I don't know how I would respond.... -- BleedinOandM 07/30/2020 08:24AM
  We had something a bit similar with my adopted brother -- typed by ben 07/30/2020 06:45AM
  Ugh..... This world isn't fair. -- GobblerCE 07/30/2020 12:37AM
  You must be great people. You need props for the special needs kid too. -- Josey Wales 07/29/2020 11:49PM
  Sometimes you turn the page -- TomTurkey 07/29/2020 11:12PM
  Props for all that you do. That letter is tough -- HokieAl 07/29/2020 11:11PM
  You all are special people. ** -- capitals1 07/29/2020 10:46PM
  That’s so tough -- VT Pops 07/29/2020 10:30PM
  Wowzaaa, I admire you for what you have done. Amazing and so kind. But you -- DonHo-kieHi 07/29/2020 10:13PM
  I'm guessing she may have been sexually abused previously? (inside) -- FfxStationHokie 07/29/2020 10:08PM

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